Four Ways I’ve Simplified My Life and Found Happiness
For the last 2 months I’ve been intentionally trying to find tangible ways to minimize daily stressors. Little things. Those unnecessary steps that add time and mental energy to my day. I have been wanting to do this for some time, but just didn’t know where to start. I was feeling overwhelmed, especially in the mornings. When I started to avoid closets, drawers, and things started piling up — I knew it was time to make some changes.
I’ll admit, getting started was hard. It required taking a cold-hard look in the mirror. I needed to be brutally honest about what I was feeling on a daily basis: stress, avoidance, and shopping way more than usual. I was not prioritizing my time and was no longer excited about my personal spaces in my home (working remotely also played a part). I got too comfortable. I wasn’t honoring spaces, or personal belongings. In true Marie Condo fashion, I needed to remove items and materials that ‘didn’t spark joy’.
My goal in this personal endeavor was not to stress myself out even more by throwing out everything and needing to buy yet more stuff to “start fresh.” Which I’ll admit to doing in the past. I started by asking myself: why do I buy things? What is missing? Who do I want to be? How does shopping make me feel? These questions helped me narrow it down: I used shopping or the accumulation of things as a stress reliever. A way to disassociate and focus on something completely outside of my daily routine and commitments. Even further, I found this behavior was my subconscious convincing myself that “I made it”. I had a steady income, success, and a new and improved image to uphold.
Yet, at 32 I was quickly realizing the vicious cycle of this expensive lifecycle: buy expensive things, work even harder to make more money to then buy and upkeep more expensive things. The cycle left me exhausted. I came to understand that true flex was being self-made, successful, having disposable income — And not giving a damn about impressing others with material things.
Here are the baby steps I am currently taking to scale back and embrace simplicity in my life:
- Build a capsule wardrobe/skincare/ makeup routine
- Like many people worldwide, I exited the pandemic with several clothes that no longer fit. I held on to them long enough- but got to a point where they were no longer serving me (or fitting) and just taking up space. I no longer even wanted to open my closet as it led to impulse purchases, and an excess of clothing. I would run out of room for the new clothes and fell into a pattern of buying storage to accommodate new things, and so on. Getting dressed in the morning became a challenge: finding outfits, reminders of things I don’t wear, and just plain frustration. I decided to literally let go. Let go of clothes, reminders of past pant sizes, and above all — negative self-talk. That clearly was not helping.
- Clothes. I got rid of almost half of my closet. I didn’t spend money on ‘high-end’ pieces just yet, because a.) as a plus size person, it is very hard to find pieces and b.) I am in between sizes. I found Everlane and the premium selection of H&M to be perfect for the overall timeless look that I have always gravitated towards. As far as shoes, I donated ‘trendy’ shoes to free up some space in my closet. Loosening the grip of IG influencers and trendy fast fashion is a work in progress. Timeless pieces are good for me and the environment.
- Makeup. Where do I start? As someone who adores skincare, makeup, fragrances, this one was tough. I find that I frequently oscillate between being ‘all about drugstore products and saving money’ to ‘Sephora only — because I deserve it.” Instead of getting caught up on my ‘brand’ when it came to makeup, I focused instead on my current products and eliminating what I no longer use. I made a plan to use all of my brands before purchasing anything else. The key to success here is not going to Sephora or Ulta “just for fun”.
2. Set a limit on social media apps.
- Metrics don’t lie. I spend way too much time on my phone. Social media was contributing to my purchases, and I did not want to admit I was #influenced. I removed my Facebook app and left Instagram and TikTok. Yes, these are reinstalled and uninstalled here and there. I placed an hour limit on social media apps — and it helped a TON. Just being mindful of my time on my phone has helped me shop less, but also ‘plan’ for my scrolling time. I now scroll when walking on my peloton and it has been a nice, productive swap.
3. Swap out shopping with other hobbies
- As mentioned briefly, I stopped going to Sephora and Ulta for ‘fun’ or when I simply wanted to get out of the house. I started walking on my peloton every day and reading again. I even picked up writing on Medium again and remembered how much I missed it. One clap on Medium, based on my thoughts and creativity, is worth more than 10 likes on a perfectly angled IG photo.
4. Incorporate a “personal tasks” day to one of your weekdays.
- Sunday scaries aren’t as paralyzing as they used to be. I started, what I like to call, “ending my workweek productively.” I have started deep cleaning my kitchen and other spaces on Thursday and planning fun events on Friday. This opens up my weekend to recharge, mindfully plan to the upcoming week and spend less mental energy feeling like I need to do a million things on Saturday and Sunday. This simple change has really elevated my daily life and workweek. Instead of wanting new things, I give attention to the ones I have.
I am new to this lifestyle shift, but I am proud of myself for staying present and trying something new. It is easy to be on autopilot and let the daily stressors pile on. It’s way more challenging to pinpoint things that make you anxious and stressed (even admitting you are anxious is huge btw). I hope these simple steps help you in the way they are slowly making me feel like me again.
