I love you, Paloma Elsesser
I stumbled across Paloma back in 2019. It was during a late night, insomnia-induced YouTube video rabbit hole that started on Instagram. I was minding my business. Adding several expensive Glossier products (that I did not need) into my cart. When the total surpassed $100, I closed the window, not purchasing anything. The quick decision to close the app and not give into the impulse buy filled me with brief satisfaction. To keep the endorphins running, I decided to go on YouTube to check out some ‘get ready with me’ glossier videos instead. I find these calm me and give me the illusion of finding the secret recipe to becoming effortlessly Parisian and chic. Damn you, Glossier… but thank you, too, for bringing Paloma into my life.
Scrolling Glossier’s YouTube channel, I suddenly stop when I see this curvy brown goddess whose body resembled mine. I immediately clicked on the video. Within the first few seconds, we see Paloma in her pjs sipping her tea. She looks real. Her voluptuous body free and unapologetic. She’s smiling and looks absolutely effortless as she’s in the shower, showcasing luxe brands like Glossier, Oribe, and L'Occitane. All of the high-end brands I love. I instantly feel seen and love her for claiming the right to these expensive posh brands. The way in which she unapologetically dries off her skin, lathers her full arms with lotion, sharing casually that the lotion is great on stretch marks. Followed by a quick “not that there is an issue with stretch marks…shout out to culture for that one.” She’s fascinating, witty, funny, feminine, carefree and confident. Making it known that I can love the skin that I am in, now. She struck me, then and there, and continues to make a huge impact on me today.
Discovered by makeup artist Pat McGrath, Paloma has hit the ground running and has paved the way for other models in the plus size industry. In an interview with Ashley Graham, Paloma reflects on her upbringing, being a curve model, and traversing insecurities. Aside from being famous, what really stands out about Paloma is her openness about her experiences in her body, as well as her hodgepodge background. Born to a Black, Buddhist, hippy mother and a Swiss Chilean father, she attended a prestigious school growing up. Paloma jokes, as a kid I thought, “Oh, no, I can't be fat too.” As I was listening to her interview, I couldn’t help but smile as I deeply resonated with that statement. I, too, was a brown girl with a free-spirited single mother and attended a predominately white Catholic school. Being ‘fat’ was just the cherry on top of a bunch of ‘otherness’ I bravely navigated at a young age. Like Paloma, I dealt with a lot of people who did not know how to make sense of me.
When asked about how she deals with insecurities, she very honestly shares that being a byproduct of ‘hardship and struggles all around’ helped. Sharing a jarring memory of being in a Gap fitting room at 12 years old and not fitting into the kids or women’s jeans, we see that from an early age Paloma struggled in her image. In her own words, “I felt alone in my body.” Growing up, she explains how she found creative ways to ‘fit in’ by wearing the same brands other teens wore, even if she had to find creative workarounds like buying a t shirt with the brand logo instead of a skirt. At one point she mentions, “I was a minority, no money, and was chunky my whole life. There was no other way but learning to know my body and hold space for it.” The key to overcoming insecurities and achieving confidence came after years of accepting and understanding her body. These detailed examples of struggling with fitting in a world that does not cater to plus sized women exemplifies the ways Paloma is relatable to so many women who do not fit into a mold, myself included.
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